The Monster and His Friends
by thenoblehouseofblack
Summary: Not many people knew what Remus was. Dumbledore and the teachers had seen the medical records. James, Sirius and Peter had figured it out. Sirius had told Snape as a prank. And Lily Evans, well she found out one full moon when Remus had tried to kill her. Two-Shot. Rated T for language.


The first thing Remus Lupin noticed when he woke up in the Hospital Wing was the light pouring in from the windows. It took him a moment to realize where he was. For a second, he thought he was back in his dormitory with the rest of his mates. It was when he noticed the figure sitting next to his bed, asleep against her chair did he really remember. Everything from the night before came speeding back to him.

It had started as any other full moon. Madam Promfrey had led him out to the tree exactly 20 minutes before sunset. She had used a spell to touch the freezing branch at the base and led him down the passageway to the room he was supposed to spend the night in. She had waited by the door until he was situated, as she did every full moon, took his clothes and wand, smiled sadly, wished him a good night and then locked him in. He had listened to her receding footsteps, counting down the seconds until they would disappear. Exactly 10 minutes later, the door had opened and in had walked his best mates, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. It was like clockwork.

They had waited with him in human form until the moon rose, and then they too had changed. Where four young wizards had stood were replaced by a stag, a dog, a rat, and a werewolf. They had decided to explore the forest that night. It had been a while since they had ventured into the trees, and they had decided beforehand that they would go. Going into the forest had been Sirius's idea. Peter had wanted to go into the village again. Remus had voted for the Quidditch pitch. The deciding factor had been James. And so, they had ended up in the forest.

At first, they had all agreed Sirius was right. They were having such fun, running around between the trees. The Forbidden Forest had so many things to see, so many places to explore. They knew they had chosen right. It was when they decided to go back to the grounds that the night turned upside down. Really, none of them had any idea there would be a student out on the grounds at the time of night. Why would there be? There had never been before. They had grown reckless. And it was the sheer power of James's will that no one was hurt.

He sighed and looked at the red head sleeping in the chair next to him. She looked like she had been there all night. He felt disgusted with himself. Even though he had no control over the monster that took hold of him every month, he felt responsible. He should have tried harder to stop himself. No, that wasn't right. He shouldn't have even let it get that far. He shouldn't have been gallivanting about with the other Marauders like that. He had forgotten what he was. He was risking the safety of everyone in the school. He was breaking Dumbledore's trust. He had never hated himself more.

Lily Evans slowly woke, groggy at first. It took her a moment to remember where she was. She saw Remus awake, staring at her, a pained expression on his face. "Morning," she smiled.

"Don't do that," he said, looking up to the ceiling.

"Don't do what? Say morning? Alright, I won't," she smirked slightly at him.

He sighed and closed his eye. "You know what I mean, Lily."

"No I really don't, Remus," she said firmly. "Why don't you tell me what horrible thing I've done by wishing you a good morning?"

"Stop being nice to me," he said finally.

"With that attitude, I just might."

"How can you even be in the same room as me?" He just stared at her.

"Well, I wasn't able to convince Madam Pomfrey on mere good looks," she said with a smirk. "Believe it or not, I actually have a brain under all this red hair."

"I meant after..."

"I know what you meant, Remus," she cut him off. "But because your question was ridiculous, I decided to ignore it."

"Lily..." He started again, but once again, she cut him off.

"Remus, I don't care," she said firmly. "I don't care what you are and I certainly don't blame you for last night. Truth be told, I'm a little relieved."

"Relieved."

"Yes, relieved," she repeated. "Honestly, Remus, with how often you were sick or your mum was sick or your great aunt on your father's side was dying but then passed it on to you cousin's cousin's cousin, I was fairly certain you came from a family of lunatics. Well, that or you were dying. So yes, I am relieved that the truth is you're... well you're just a you know what."

"A werewolf," he said after he looked around and made sure no one was listening. "And honestly, I'm not sure how that's better than me dying."

"Well, at least this way we can still be friends," she said simply. "I don't have to mourn you, and we get to still hang out."

"Lily, how can you even say that?" he stared at her, dumbfounded. "I almost killed you last night."

"But you didn't."

"Not for a lack of trying," he rolled his eyes. "If James hadn't intervened..."

"But he did," she said over him. "It's my fault anyway. I shouldn't have broken curfew and gone on the grounds in the first place."

"Yes, how could you known of the deadly werewolf running around with his mates?" he asked coldly. There was no way he was going to let her blame herself for this. It was the monster inside of him.

"Remus, it's over. Get over it. I have."

"Have you?" he asked in a low voice. He couldn't believe this. He had almost killed her last night, and yet here she was trying to be his friend. He didn't deserve such kindness, especially not from her.

"Remus, I don't give a rat's arse, no pun attended, if you're a bloody werewolf," she said heatedly. He winced at her tone, which was usually reserved for James. "You could be a werewolf, a vampire, or a bloody stripper, and I wouldn't give a fuck. You're my friend, and that's all I care about."

He stared at her for a long time. He was torn between wanting to believe her, which he truly and deeply did, and wanting to scream at her to leave him alone. "Really?" He asked finally.

"Really," she smiled at him. "I'm just glad you have your mates with you. I can't imagine you going through it alone."

He sighed, agreeing with her wholeheartedly. For years, he had gone through it alone. But have the other Marauders with him, he felt like he had the family he had lost when he became a werewolf. Oh, he was sure his parents loved him, but they would never be able to accept what he was. But James, Sirius, and Peter, they did, and they asked no questions. And to know Lily too now stood beside him, it filled his heart with such joy.

"You don't know what it's like, this monster within," he said quietly. "I can't stop it, and it kills me every month. It's like a piece of me, the real me is dying a little more every time. And the monster takes a little bit more control. I'm afraid sometimes that one day I'll wake up, and all I'll see is him." He had never voiced this fear to anyone, not even the other Marauders. He couldn't. Voicing it would make it too real, and he was too much of a coward for that. But with Lily, he knew he could open up. He knew he had to.

"Remus, you're one of the best people I know," her voice was just as low. "You're smart, and funny, and sometimes the only reason I don't murder Potter. You're sweet and kind. You're quiet but firm in your beliefs. You stand for what you believe in. You're more loyal than anyone else I know. You're the best wizard I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. That's the real you. Don't ever forget that."

He thought quietly on her words for a long time. Finally he sighed and smiled slightly at her. "I don't know how to thank you."

"You're welcome," she grinned at him, reaching to take his hand in hers. "Now can we please talk about how of all creatures, Sirius had to pick a dog? Honestly, how obvious can you get?"

He just laughed. This was good. He still didn't forgive himself fully, and knew he never would, but he knew she did, and that made his burden a little less. It felt good to open up to Lily. She was one of his best friends after the Marauders. And he knew she was the best person to have opened up about his fears to. She was sweet, and kind. He could see why James was in love with her so. He thought she was perfect, short of the one flaw she had: not seeing the good in Prongs. As she went on about how much of a dog Sirius was, he figured out how he would make this all up to her. With every ounce of cunning he had, he was going to get Lily to see how much she loved James. Yes, he thought, he would fix her happily ever after. And then, maybe, just maybe, he could earn his redemption.


End file.
